updates from home

so now that I'm home things are nice because I at least know that I'm not hiding anything from my parents but something just isn't right.
it's like we're all glossing over the whole issue. like we talked about it that day, they gave their support and then like no more mention of it. it's been a week.
and I don't wanna talk about it daily or anything but they said we'd talk about it when I got home and we haven't.
I've been extra nice to them, ultra nice. and like anyone who knows me knows that I was already nice so this is like overkill. like bunnies running around with cotton candy.
I guess I kind of feel in debt to them and like I owe them because they could have been unsupportive and kicked me out or worse rejected what I told them. withdrawn love and support.
-shudders-
anyways it feels a little weird. I dunno what I can talk about and what I shouldn't. can't share opinions about the subject matter openly and what not and sometimes I forget I'm not in chapel hill anymore and almost slip up.
-sigh-
I guess what I'm saying is that right now I can never see anyone in this household being comfortable enough to talk about it and what not so I'll just leave it untouched.
I never expected to talk to my parents about people I liked or anything because we didn't even do that or talk about it much when they though I was straight. I guess in my house my approach serious issues but not when it comes to me. I never had the sex talk, I educated myself. I never got told how to handle my feminine issues, I had to educate myself there too. that stuff never came from them, it came from other sources like webmd and shit.
guess that's how it'll always be. and I'll just become okay with that one day. I dunno. smh.
maybe.

&& I'm out.
-- lexy.