Dude! Quit Staring at Me -- It's Making Me Nervous

Let me start by saying I have a paranoia complex.

Whatever that means right?

No seriously, I'm ridiculously self conscious AND I always think people are talking about me...always.
Simply put, I'm just not socially fit.

At this school the honor code is stressed like no other.
I feel like we're in Orwell's 1984 where Big Brother is watching me at all times.
Like while I surf the internet
and listening to me as I converse with friends or when I'm on the phone.
And don't say it's illegal.
'Cause our government is full of shit these days and I don't trust it.
Obama or not.
I feel like I'm being watched right now too.
I don't wanna do anything to dirty or treacherous because I'm so sure I'll be arrested or that I'll be called up to honor court.
And just something about that word "court" that makes a black person sweat. I don't wanna be in court.
Maybe I'm over reacting but

I could swear Big Brother's watching.
And if it turns out to be true. I won't say I told you so, I don't need to, you'll already know as I'll have been called up to honor court for all those times I questioned them and the morals of this university.
One pretends to be high and on good standing but this university is just as corrupt as everything else.
And no I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I'm just a paranoid college kid with a knack for detecting bullshit.
How else will they know if you illegally download?
They watch.
By posting this I may lose credibility.
You may question my sanity.
And you may laugh at me.
But this is my spot. A place for wizardry (and wishful thinking) and sometimes poetry.

&& I'm out.
-- lexy.