untitled #5

hope and optimism left me a long time ago

and now I’m just cold.

I tried using a throw

but chills creeped up my spine.

I tried drinking some hot tea

that only lasted momentarily

then I tried something that was new to me

and that’d be trying to love thee

and…when that didn’t warm me

I knew there was something wrong with me

I knew it wasn’t for me.

I gave up on life quickly.

a part died in me.

I couldn’t stand to live that way,

so I thought maybe it’d best to depart that day

leave my lame rhyme schemes

and my stupid college scene

all  behind me.

I left life that way.

I truly died that day,

jumping straight into harms way.

I wanted to die that day

killing me slowly

I let my lifestyle tear my heart away.

now I’m stuck that way.

-- lexy. 

*disclaimer* I think this is one of the crappiest poems I have ever written but I'm posting anyways. it was written around sept. 2009.