apprehension

tonight is my last night with the ipad. =( I've really grown to love this thing over the past two nights.
anyways I got in touch with enrique about writing for lambda today. something I've been saying I was gonna do for ages now. I'm just way to engulfed in other shit. anyways.
also I took my women's studies midterm and I think I did okay on that. don't wanna be too optimistic, that's when you fail.
other than that not much happening.
title relates to how I essentially approach everything in my life. with apprehension.
I'm usually I'm glad I did it afterwards but before that it's like pulling teeth.
oh I also got accepted to the retreat! which is amazing. hopefully nothing else will conflict. looks as if catalyst won't at this point.
looking forward to meeting some new (and get more acquainted with some old) gays and allies. that's on nov. 7.
I'm also gonna apply to be a c.u. counselor. hope I get it. I'm trying to do a lot of small leadership positions this year.
baby steps folks. baby steps.

&& I'm out.
-- lexy.

late night chit chat

I'm sitting here lying in my bed on the iPad and I can't get the "bluest eye in texas" out of my head. I think it's because I never did finish watching boys don't cry. at any rate I'm also listening to this ambient music and as I was on my tumblr I saw a post by my cousin whom I haven't spoken to in ages nor have I been particulary close too. however, her Facebook profile says she's in an open relationship with another girl and I always wanted to know if it was true. if it is that would be super awesome because to know I have a feminine, successful, queer relatively close family member would be amazing for some reason. I have no idea why but it would. I guess visibility really does matter because I mean it'd be someone to look up to close to me rather than distant celebraties. I may never know but until that day I'll continue hoping she is and secretly admiring her boldness cause personally I have a familial fb and personal fb. the former rarely gets checked and I'm currently at the stage where I no longer care but still it exists. she's awesome is the bottom line. and I honestly hope that maybe one day I'll be able to tell her she affected me positively or maybe she'll even read this and know. at any rate I'm appreciative and it helped me along in the self-acceptance process.

&& that's all folks.
-- lexy.

update

nothing to really say these past few days and the same holds true for today. I mean I could tAlk about the level of marginalization and discrimination on this campus but I prefer to stay happy and that would anger me. I could also talk about how I hate conservatives but we already know that. so I'll leave it at that.

went to a 90s party saturday and it was a lot of fun. a lot of pretty people there as well.